the PMS fairy

mood: good but tired
listening to: trevor laugh while watching a seinfeld dvd from the library(rock on with our frugal selves!)
last read: jenn's blog about her coffee cup scrappin. SO CUTE. why won't she hold a workshop so we can all have them? i wont be seriously upset until after christmas and i dont have one.

so, every, oh--28 days or so, i go through this reoccurring inner dialogue where i think i may be clinically depressed or, fear of fears, bipolar like my father. it is usually triggered by a disconnect of thought, feelings of despair, increased irritability, moodiness, extreme lethargy and lack of motivation, as well as cravings so strong for sweets and coffee that i cannot contain my seriously-need-not-eat-empty-calories-self.

so... i found out they have a name for this: PMS! i never had pms like this until now. many say it's that second child. wreaks havoc on the old pituitary gland. dang kids. who is it that called babies bad renters? they come in, mess up the place, and then leave it worse than when they got there-- with no security deposit!

i guess i should start tracking me-ol-cycle (reading Teacher Man by Frank McCourt, hence the attempt at a brogue), so as to warn all of the impending cloud. thanks for all the well wishes and muffins me loved ones (there it is again).

good night

here is an irish folk song to send you off:

So fare thee well, my own true love
  When I return united we will be
  It's not the leaving of Liverpool that's grieving me
  But my darling when I think of thee

I'm bound off for California
By the way of stormy Cape Horn
And I'm bound to write you a letter, love
When I am homeward bound

little grey cloud

mood: down in the dumps
listening to: jason mraz (thanks chris)
last read: allison's blog

the pressure of failure is looming and glooming me. i am stretched too thin and am "dropping the ball" on many of my commitments. i am not good at failing. i am usually good at saying no as to not set myself up for failure, but this time i feel like i can't shed anything. and so i fail. and i am paralyzed into non-activity which turns into more failure which turns into a deeper sense of gloom.

anyway, off to try and muster enough wherewithall to clean my house as the inlaws are arriving in 2 hours and my house is not in an in-law presentable state. add it to the "failure" list.....

"uh-oh, time to blog"

mood: huh?
listening to: noah and trevor playing "starwars"
last read: a friend of a friend's blog-- oh to be young and introspective again

so my blog title is derived from my husbands comment when he saw me log on. i swiftly reminded him that i hadnt blogged in two weeks. i've just been busy, snarky, busy, and clouded--but over all good.

noah and i had a conversation about God in the car today. he asked if Jesus and God were the same person and i was trying to explain the trinity to him. but he quickly lost interest and switched to just Jesus. he asked about the "disooples." i told him they were Jesus's friends and they wanted to be like him because he was so loving to everyone and acted the right way all the time. noah then asked if i wanted to be like Jesus. I said yes. then i asked him if he wanted to be. he said no. i asked him why not and he said, serious as all get out, "because he wears a weird coat all the time. every picture at church, he always has a weird coat. i dont want to wear a weird coat."

it was amazingly hilarious and precious. it inspired me to blog.

good night

in honor of fall...

i changed my background. i love it. makes me feel so cozy. also, i forgot to blog about my two favorite Convention find companies:

boymom: i could not pass up this $38 light blue, long sleeve fitted t-shirt:


so, i had to pass up the $25 necklaces from phenominoes. very very cute unique items.

Going, going, back, back, to cali cali

mood: goody
listening to: beck
last read: quote off the starbucks paper cup "it will do us little good to wire the world if we short-circuit our souls."

had a rip roaringly exhausting, yet refreshing long weekend in dallas, texas. here's michelle and i at one of the main sessions:



every time i leave california, for another state in america, i am slammed with the realization that i am a california girl through and through (minus the fake boobs and blond hair =) j/k).

top 5 reasons i would never chose to move to TX:

1. agoraphobia - fear of wide open spaces. i had to literally talk myself down when i looked out on the horizon and saw no mountains or anything.

2. on the airport shuttle, a man was talking to his friend about his own son. he said "that little mother f***er listens to that black, n***er music." now, i know there are racist people in california, and thought i was appalled by his statement, i was more appalled that NO ONE else on the full bus seemed phased by this man's explitives. i looked like i just drank sour milk, and no one mirrored my disgust. maybe people in TX just know how to mind their own business and i dont? i dont know... i'm just sayin...

3. gas and food were not cheaper. and they do not treat their workers fairly. our server at the Cracker Barrel only made $2.15/hr plus tips (which, by the way, was the same wage her mother made when she served there 15 years ago. i left her a $10 tip on an $11 meal. god bless her)

4. their transporation infrastructure got the best of me. they like to take you in circles. there are driveways to businesses right off the freeway on ramps. so for outta towners like me, you are just trying to get to uncle julio's tex-mex restaurant and you freak out that you're getting on the freeway, yet there was no freeway entrance sign, and then, pop, all of a sudden there is a driveway. ludacris i tell you.

5. everything closes by 9.

people were pretty nice, but i thought the tenneseeans were nicer. tennessee was prettier too. (tennesee and texas are my only exposure to the South) oh, and that Sonic Burger place knows how to make a mean order of onion rings... but there's one in hemet. no need to move to texas for onion rings =) although, it may not have the same charm without the cute little girl wishing us a "i hope y'all enjoy y'all's sonic burger." (yes, you aparently can conjugate y'all?!?!? who knew!)