alo, alo

mood: tired, but good
listening to: the computer hummmmm
last read: jenn's blog

it's been almost two months since my last post? sheesh. i was just a bit busy.

i hurt someone yesterday, and though we reconciled, it has created great cause for introspective blogging. in looking back at the last 8 months, i have learned a not so fun thing about myself. i say mean things--justifiably or not, they are still mean. i think i cloak it in claims to be constructive and helping others grow (which at times may be appropriate if done in a delicate, loving fashion), but have not matured to the point in recognizing when i need to just let things go. i do let a lot go (believe it or not), but i know i could let more go. i think it's such a fine line--maybe not. maybe that belief is why i hurt people. and it's ironic, because i am a sensitive person who takes people's words to heart. so you'd think i'd be uber careful with mine. and i am careful, just not uberly.

i regret hurting said person, and it tears me up inside, but i am glad that i am being shown this side of me. i like to think of myself as one who likes to grow and improve, but i also probably think too highly of myself to the point where it takes pain, catastrophe, my foot in my mouth or whatnot to have those areas in which i need to grow revealed. dont get me wrong, i know i have faults. i am really really bad at mailing things. i am really really bad at letting my inbox and voice messages pile up. but i am grateful that the Lord cares about me enough to let me go through refining trials and i am grateful to have people in my life who are forgiving.